Posts Tagged ‘paycheck’


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Cash advance with a new job?

I just need a little bit of cash (no more than 0) to get me through the next couple of weeks. I just started a new job and I probably won’t get my first paycheck for a while. Would it be possible to go through one of those pay day loans / cash advance deals and would it be a good idea? I don’t think my credit is very good thanks to my mother never paying my student credit card on time. Thanks for your help!


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In an almost hopeless situation…what can I do?

I am a 34 year old man with a great deal of intelligence and dozens of ideas, but I am at a point where I don’t know what to do anymore…

My fiancee was recently released from her contract at a local school, we have one more paycheck coming from the district.

I have a degree in radio and nearly 4 years of experience, but after a nationwide search that has lasted almost 3 1/2 years, I still cannot find a job in the field.

My ex-wife ruined my credit rating, and my fiancee’s rating is not very good either.

I have a felony (non-violent, non-drug, non-sexual offense) from 1996 on my record that I cannot get "expunged" due to issues with the court system…and any background check by a potential employer reveals this ugly and embarrassing part of my past.

I have been searching for any job that I can find, but have not even been able to get hired at a gas station or fast food restaurant because of the economy and any credit/background check that a potential employer may run.

We have bills piling up, and I have no idea what to do. I have already been in the Navy, and received an honorable discharge, but I do not qualify for either pension or re-enlistment (from any branch of the armed forces).

I don’t know what to do here, we have no savings, I cannot get unemployment since I do not qualify and we have no immediate job prospects for teaching or any field that I can work in.

Cannot get a loan, family members do not have the resources to help us and no friends have any ideas for housing or employment.

I truly have exhausted all the ways I can to find work…want ads, etc…

what do I do?
You folks dont get it – temp agencies wont hire me. I have no recent work history, a criminal record and no personal or professional references that are less than 5 years old.

There are NO radio positions anywhere in the country for me. No board ops, no overnight jock positions, no production.

This isn’t some cookie cutter "hey, I don’t know how to get a job" situation…

"Explaining" to an employer during an interview that I have a criminal record takes me off any possible hiring list, since there are many others who apply who have no liabilities like I do.

Please, do NOT patronize me by saying that all I need to do is "dig deep and take a job beneath me", that is insulting since even a minimum wage employer won’t even look at me after a preliminary screening.

It is terribly frustrating to read responses that try to paint this situation as a case of "bad attitude" or "lack of motivation".

I have talent, but no way to do anything with it anymore.
A quick example of the desperation:

I applied for a job in the Alaskan tundra at a radio station that needed a news director, in an area only accessible by plane.

After a basic check of my background – even THAT company was unwilling to take a risk.

I don’t need answers that say "keep your chin up", please don’t try to pep-talk me.


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Help I did not get paid on my “payday” what can I do?

So, I got paid on Friday the 19th from a job that I started on September 2nd but then quit the 12th b/c I got offered my dream position (which I start on Monday, so I am 1 wk without work)…anyway the job that I quit direct deposited my two week paycheck into my account, I paid bills. I thought the amount was a little high since I only worked 2 weeks, but it had to be right I figured since they had a week to figure my timecard. Also, they are paid current so I got paid Friday and the paystub got mailed out that day from another state. Well 2 days later the paycheck was reveresed out of my bank account!!!!! It is saturday and I cannot do anything till Monday, I think they messed up and added more hours, that is why it was a little too high….but they took the whole check! What can I do here. I need Department of Labor laws not just opinion, I need to confront them with real facts that this is SO wrong. They should have voided the wrong amount but immediately deposited the right amount. I am pretty sure my bank will give me a small loan to cover till it gets straightened out but this has to be wrong. I was supposed to get paid Friday… I did then it was taken out…HELP

the reversal did not occur until saturday. I think they should have contacted me, since I won’t get my paystub till tuesday I have no clue what is going on.


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really funny new employmeny policy?

i know its long but its just too funny

Memo To: All Employees
Subject: New Policies

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Surgery:
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence.

Your Own Death:
This will be accepted as an approved excuse. However, we do require at least 2 weeks advance notice, as it is your duty to train your replacement.

Rest Room Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restrooms. Therefore, in the future all employees will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8:10 to 8:20, and so on. If you’re unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with another co-worker. However, both employee supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

Paycheck Guide:
The following guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks.

Example: Gross pay ,222.02

Income tax 244.40
Outcome tax 45.21
State tax 11.61
Interstate tax 61.10
County tax 6.11
City tax 12.22
Rural tax 4.44
Back tax 1.11
Front tax 1.16
Side tax 1.61
Up tax 2.22
Tic-tacs 1.98
Thumbtacks 3.93
Carpet tacks .98
Stadium tax .69
Flat tax 8.32
Surtax 3.46
Corporate tax 2.60
Parking fee 5.00
FICA 81.88
TGIF fund 9.95
Life insurance 5.85
Health insurance 16.23
Dental insurance 4.50
Mental insurance 4.33
Reassurance .11
Disability 2.50
Ability .25
Liability 3.41
Unreliability 10.99
Coffee 6.85
Coffee cups 66.51
Floor rental 6.85
Chair rental .32
Desk rental 4.32
Union dues 5.85
Union don’ts 3.77
Cash advance .69
Cash retreats 121.35
Overtime 1.26
Undertime 54.83
Eastern time 9.00
Central time 8.00
Mountain time 7.00
Pacific time 6.00
Oxygen 10.02
Water 16.54
Heat 51.42
Cool air 26.83
Hot air 20.00
Miscellaneous 113.29
Various 8.01

Net Pay {content}.12

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, comtemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week

i dare you to work 4 dat company after reading dis
give me a star after reading this pls and thx


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Help! Easy Financial Situation, but need your help!?

4 credit cards, 1 bill, 1 overdraft, 1 loan = 1 paycheck.

I was payed today….,000. My next payday/paycheck comes in a month from today (also ,000).

Here is my problem:
I have 4 credit cards I need to pay off: TOTAL ,256
I have 1 telephone bill, which is a must pay: TOTAL
I have 1 overdraft fee: TOTAL 0
I have 1 loan to pay, which is a must: 0

So…Do I pay my minimum on my cards? Or should I pay more? How much More? Considering the expenses not on the list (gas, food, etc.). I was also thinking about putting a down payment towards a car, would it possible?

Can I do all this and still have enough to survive this next month? What exactly should I be paying off?

THANKS!


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Memo to All Employees? ( A bit on the long side, but what else are doing)?

Memo to All Employees:
Due to the recent economic downturn, we have been forced to implement a new method of employee deductions to paychecks effective as of January 1, 2005.

*SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE* We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

*SURGERY* Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

*BEREAVEMENT LEAVE* This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is enough to keep the job going in your absence.

*YOUR OWN DEATH* This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your replacement.

*REST ROOM USE* Entirely too much time is being spent in the rest room. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees who’s names beginning with ‘B’ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 And so on. If you’re unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees’ supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm bell will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door open AND YOUR PICTURE WILL BE TAKEN.

*PAYCHECK GUIDE* The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks. This will apply in all cases per/00 earned:

Gross Pay ,000.00

Income tax 4.40
Outgo tax .21
State tax .61
Interstate tax .10
County tax .11
City tax .22
Rural tax .44
Back tax .11
Front tax .16
Side tax .61
Up tax .22
Down tax .11
Tic-Tacs .98
Thumbtacks .93
Carpet tacks {content}.98
Stadium tax {content}.69
Flat tax .32
Surtax .46
Corporate tax .60
Parking fee .00
FICA .88
T.G.I.F. Fund .95
Life insurance .85
Health insurance .23
Dental insurance .50
Mental insurance .33
Reassurance {content}.11
Disability .50
Ability {content}.25
Liability .41
Unreliability .99
Coffee .85
Coffee Cups .51
Floor rental .85
Chair rental {content}.32
Desk rental .32
Union dues .85
Union don’ts .77
Cash advance {content}.69
Cash retreats 1.35
Overtime .26
Undertime .83
Eastern Time .00
Central Time .00
Mountain time .00
Pacific Time .00
Time Out .21
Oxygen .02
Water .54
Heat .42
Cool air .83
Hot air .00
Miscellaneous 3.29
Sundry .09
Various .01

Net Take Home Pay {content}.02

*FINAL THOUGHTS* Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation’s, consternation’s, or input should be directed elsewhere. All comments and concerns should be sent to the company arbitrator. Costs for this service is $.02 per 00 salary earned. Please pre-pay this fee with all correspondence.


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